I have been MIA.
Although I do not thing many people even read these anyway. It's more of a place just to dump a bunch of thoughts. Just don't tell my professors of work about this.
Onto the real topic at hand, I really want to start branding myself and things so I have been looking into that quite a bit. Since my Instagram has been hacked and taken over for a minute now, I took this time to kind of reflect and see what and where I want to go and do.
I think my endgame in mind is travel photography or something in a marketing like event planning or marketing. Hell I would even be okay with a photojournalism job. I just wish there were a few more opportunities for some of this in St. George, Utah.
Once somethings are finalized, I will be spilling so much tea about my current situation and the future of this bran. ;)
I am not even sure if I spelt that right.
Anyway, I started watching Dave which is Lil Dicky's show about getting famous and stuff. I just watched the episode titled Ally's Speech and it was about his girlfriend having to give a speech about her sister because she is the maid of honor. It ended up being a great speech about ambition, but I still am confused as to how I can relate to it.
Recently I have had two people, one I genuinely care about, call me a know it all or something along the lines of that and it is kinda unsettling. I do not know exactly what traits of mine display that and how exactly to change it.
And if I am going to be even more honest, I always just thought it was just me being confident. It is just a little something that has happened recently that is uncomfortable.
Speaking of discomfort, the most recent thing I think I have decided was to move to Boston after I get my degrees and check out some colleges to get my PhD. Boston University looks beautiful and has a good psychology program. I am not too sure though because I may want to go somewhere in Ohio. I just kinda hope my mom does not see this yet either because I have not mentioned anything to her about it.
There actually was no bull shit involved in this past rendezvous.
As a graduation present I took one of my best friends, Rachel, on a trip to San Francisco for a week and it was honestly one of the best trips I have ever been on.
There was not multiple things that happened that was completely horrible or bad. Only one thing happened that was terrible and it was someone smashing my window in.
Hind sight is 20/20 though and nothing was stolen and windows can be replaced. Considering how much we did on that trip.
So she flew in Tuesday and we just hung around the city. Wednesday we hiked all over Yosemite and I got the absolute hangriest I have ever been in my life. Thursday we went to Alcatraz, Fisherman's Warf, Lombard street and Exploratorium. Rachel actually booked the wrong date for the Alcatraz tickets, but it worked out perfectly because there was a lady that was selling two adult tickets for the exact time that we bought. Friday we took a little trip down to Santa Cruz, Monterey Bay and Big Sur. This by far was one of the best stressing days because we spent a little too much time in Santa Cruz and tried to make it to McWay Falls by sunset and got there a little after because Big Sur is just too beautiful and we kept having to stop and take pictures. Saturday was a pretty chill day with us going to the botanical garden, chinatown and sunset at baker beach. Sunday was also kinda chill and us just doing everything we did not necessarily cover after we went to the SFMOMA and Muir Woods. Monday was by far a top tier day. It was the Napa Valley Day. We had 4 wineries set up for the day with Rachel doing most of the drinking and honestly that sentence alone should be enough to tell you that Rachel ended up throwing up in a Sonic parking lot in Napa Valley. But hey, I have a trip planned for next year!
Overall this trip was seriously so amazing though. I could not be more thankful and proud of Rachel and her accomplishments.
I know I missed last week.
Inconsistency will be part of the brand that I do not have. What is crazy is that I never remember and am insecure about what I type in these things too. I am well aware that is stupid because I know I designated this as my safe space.
Many of my friends know this story I am about to tell and my parents only know the surface level of it.
So August of 2020 semester I decided to have a little fun based off of a lunch I had with my Aunt Stephanie.. She brought me to lunch one day the summer before my freshman year at LSU in 2017. She told me a story about how she was seeing, but not committed to, multiple guys at once in college and said, "A girls gotta eat." That amongst other ways to be save and not too naive stuck to me like glue.
I would like to think that I am relatively safe when it comes to dating, especially when meeting guys through dating apps like tinder, bumble and hinge. Many of my friends have my location, they know where I am going and a safe-word to call me when I am on one of the dates incase I want to leave.
Well, the very first dade that sparked my 34 dates began with a guy that I am going to call Brad for his sake. I credit this date as one of the worst dates of my life. Even after the little social experiment that started it.
The details of the date will be spared but know that he cooked me a terrible dinner and I slept with him after and it was worse than the dinner. Just as I left his house I had to call Rylee, one of my best friends, to yell and scream about how horrible it was.. Brad single handedly influenced me to start my greatest adventure in my 20 years of life up until that moment.
I downloaded all of the dating apps and decided to be a serial dater.
Serial dating as in date as many guys as I could within that semester of college and try to get as many free meals and experiences as I could out of them.
Now, before you go on and say this is horrible and I am using people let me set the record straight that I worked full time during this and was more than willing (and did) pay for my half in some instances.
As I was on this little expedition I thought I was going to find a guy that would just turn my world upside down and make me fall head over heals for him. Thankfully, this is real life and not a Netflix original and I did not meet anyone of the sorts.
Instead, I found my greatest character flow with this experiment. You see, I am a double major with communications and psychology. So it will be hard to have a bad time with me because I can talk about anything and do know how to make people comfortable.
My character flaw is that I will be sitting across the table having the surface level conversations with these guys and psychologically analyze them based off of context clues. It is genuinely a blessing and a curse to know how some of these guys will react to such a great date but I never had intention of a second one. This whole little adventure nearly convinced myself that I was psychotic.
But then again, I am only 22 so it is okay to be young and toxic right now. There is no rhyme or reason as to why I am telling this story or information now. I just feel as though it needs to be out in the open for people to know.
Plus life is kinda short for people to take these kinds of situations too seriously. And if anything I am an expert dater now.
There is always so much that I can talk about but I want to focus on more of the positive things in my life currently.
With multiple vacations coming up and I finally actually used my new camera for what I wanted to use it for I am excited for what I can create these upcoming months.
Creating is something that I always try to do and look forward to doing which is why I even started this. I am going to try the once a week blog that I stated last blog (I am pretty sure) and at minimum vacation vlogs.
On a less creative note though, I am trying to bring Molly to my beach trip in August. I feel like it would be so fun but I also kinda want it to just be and my family.
Who knows what is going to happen though because I still need to ask my mom if she can come. Maybe Emilee could come too. Who knows? All I know is that the last time I was at the beach I was not single and now I am.
Happy Hot Girl Summer!!!
I made this blog for one reason. To step out of my comfort zone.
It may not seem like a large deal because I get to hide behind a keyboard and a computer screen, but I actually do not like posting my personal business on the internet. This is what I am considering a little victory in a way because it would be somewhat nice to be a "content creator" and just get paid for existing.
But there is the reality that I will just be talking to myself for a while with this which will be okay too. Especially because shit gets stressful in life and I need a healthy way to cope. And on top of this blog I am going to start a youtube channel I think... maybe. Who knows?
Anyway, if you are reading this, welcome! It is the beginning of something that will hopefully be great, inspiring and motivating but not in a speaker kind of way.
Just a stressed out girl that uses a blog as a release.